Gratitude will teach you who you are

Note to Carrie Bradshaw: it shouldn’t be the only thing that changes as you age

When I suggest that what you're grateful for reflects who you are, I don't mean that in a materialistic way. I think of it as a reflection of your age and the season of your life.

Now that I am in my 60s, what I'm grateful for is much different than what I cherished as a teenager or a young woman in my 20s or 30s. That's perfectly natural and as it should be.

Yet we are given the message in media and culture that we should not age—that what we appreciate should not change, that we ourselves should not change, neither in what we desire nor in how we look. But I think this is an immature view of life, one that doesn't understand the full arc of wisdom and beauty that emerges as we age.

A recent example is, And Just Like That, a reboot of the Sex and the City series. It features three of the original cast members and imagines their lives in New York 20 years later. What is most disheartening about the series is the message it sends to women, especially as exemplified by Sarah Jessica Parker's character.

Twenty years later, she dresses the same and pursues a failed relationship from her past, (it’s still failing) sending a message that older women don’t learn from their mistakes, grow in confidence, or create different outcomes —only a never-ending loop of living in the past and trying to recapture their youth. As if that were where happiness could be found.

What Does This Have to Do with Gratitude?

Gratitude teaches us otherwise. It anchors us in the present moment and gently reveals how far we’ve come. It shifts our attention from what we used to want to what truly matters now—from outward achievement to inner peace, from appearance to presence, from striving to stillness.

In my last essay, I wrote that gratitude is the beginning of a deeper spiritual walk with God. It quiets the noise of “not enough” and reminds us that this moment, right now, is full of grace. Gratitude invites us to stop grasping and begin receiving.

When we do, we begin to notice the abundance already around us: the loving relationships that sustain us, the beauty of ordinary days, the quiet presence of God found whenever we pay attention.

If I were asked for a proof of God’s existence it would be the twin gifts of beauty and love.

As we ground ourselves in gratitude, we realize that beauty and love, ageless and boundless, given to us at the moment of creation—form a bridge from ourselves to our Creator. Our ability to fully value them are the fruits of gratitude.

How we travel that bridge to a deeper relationship with God is what I will continue to explore in the next two essays. Please subscribe so you can join me.

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This reflection on gratitude as a practice that evolves with age invites us to embrace each season of life with its own unique gifts and perspectives, rather than clinging to what once was.